I bent my head as I couldn’t stand mummy’s gaze. I knew I was in soup.
Mum: Is this the height of your shamelessness? You fake innocence just to get pity from them, then you lure him to your room to seduce him?
I shot my head up immediately. I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out.
Mum: You have done enough today, hiding behind your innocent face. I’ve had it up to the neck and I’ll have to speak to Mrs Kalu about this so she’ll see that I’ve got reasons why I’m not so good to you. You’re just like your mother and……
Kamsi chose this time to push the door open. She was smiling but immediately she saw mummy, her face turned into a frown.
Kamsi: I’m sorry mum if I interrupted something. Didn’t know you were in here.
Mummy sized her up and left the room immediately.
Kamsi: What’s the problem? You look so bitter.
She came closer to me and held my shoulder.
Kamsi: Tell me. Or don’t you share your problems anymore?
The tears started falling and I sat down on my bed.
Me: I want to leave here. I want to go somewhere else. Even an orphanage will be more fair to me than here.
Kamsi: You still haven’t said why you’re in this mood.
Me: I’m so ashamed to say it. Coupled with the fact that mummy saw……
Kamsi: You and Gospel kissing?
I was surprised.
Kamsi; I know. I was coming here to tell you that Gospel just spoke to mum about you two. Mum is okay with whatever you both share together.
No! This is not true. It can’t be happening.
Kamsi: What are you thinking of now? Come on, I know Gospel loves you very much. He hides nothing from me. I also know that you may not love him yet but you feel something strong for him. So cheer up, go and take your bath.
I nodded and undressed in front of her. She saw the blood stain in my pants and couldn’t keep her mouth shut.
Kamsi: So you’re menstruating and I’ve being begging you to go and take your bath eh?
Me: Its not like I’ve not showered today.
I brought out a piece of my towel and folded it, took my pant and towel and made for the bathroom.
Kamsi: You’re forgetting your pad.
Me: Help me look around, if you find one, bring it into the bathroom for me.
I didn’t let her to speak further before entering the bathroom. While I showered, I spent some extra time, thinking of Gospel and why his sudden interest in me. I recalled that before he travelled, we were so close that people called him my god father. Will the forces that always destroy my happiness allow this one to grow? Or will they take him as well? I left the bathroom after a thorough bath, making sure I washed off the other pieces I used earlier. I came out to see Kamsi wearing a frown.
Kamsi: Don’t tell me you used that thing I saw.
I don’t know if it was a question or a statement so I just kept quiet.
Kamsi: You don’t want to answer me?
Me: What should I tell you? I don’t have money to buy pads.
Kamsi: And you didn’t tell your mother about it?
Me: Who says I didn’t? I did. She advised that I use one of my towels.
Kamsi: Gosh! This woman is so wicked. I need to speak to her right now
Me: No wait. You can’t. I’ll pay the price when you leave. Today is the third day and it’ll be over by tomorrow or next. Just let it go. I even feel more comfortable with this pieces of towels.
Kamsi: Amanda you’re something else. Dress up so we can go to the main house.
I wore my baggy jean short with a t-shirt.
Me: I’m done
Kamsi: You and this your baggy wears. I’ll talk to Gospel to do something about your outfits.
I smiled. She doesn’t know that each clothes that were bought for me in the past, mummy would always take them and give it to Chine. We walked outside and I was surprised to see Chine and Kenneth at the terrace. Kamsi hissed and muttered something while we entered the house. Mummy was no longer in the sitting room. It was just Mrs Kalu and Gospel.
Me: Do I bring you something?
Mrs k: No my child. Come and sit.
She tapped the sofa beside her and I lowered myself to it, feeling Gospel’s eyes on me.
Mrs k; Why do you always look down? You’re not a slave. Now, look at me.
I slowly looked up and met her gaze. I looked away immediately and she smiled.
Mrs k: Kamsi, you’ll have to do a good job in teaching her a lot. Is this how she’ll walk around in school?
Kamsi; Don’t worry mum. Just get me the supplementary form and I’ll teach her all she needs to know.
Mrs Kalu smiled and I bent my head again. I’ve never witnessed people talk about me with so much love in my presence.
Mrs k: We’ll be leaving now. But I’ll like to talk to you first.
Me: You’re leaving? Without dinner? I made dinner as well and it won’t be fair to leave without eating.
Mrs k: Your meals are always wonderful and I’ll give anything to always eat them but my dear, I think we’ve overstayed our welcome here so it’ll be in our best interest to leave.
I understood what she was saying but before I could speak further, Gospel spoke up.
Gospel: Amanda, why not pack up some food for us. We’ll eat it at home.
I smiled and stood up while Kamsi followed suit. I quickly found a warmer and dished out a good quantity of the food, with some chicken as well. Kamsi was happy and wouldn’t stop talking. I carried the warmer to the sitting room and Gospel took it from me and left.
Mrs k: Amanda please come.
I went back to her and sat down in my former position.
Mrs k: My child, I fear this will be the last time that I’ll be here.
Me: But why?
Mrs k: I don’t want to get angry and speak some words that will ruin our family’s friendship. I want you to know something, every great man or woman has a bitter story. Whatever you’re going through now, take it as a big challenge and tackle whatever problem that comes your way. You won’t be alone for long. My daughter will get the supplementary form for your school and enrol as well. She’ll guide you in whatever difficulty you encounter.
She paused and looked at me.
Mrs k: Secondly, you need to stop this shyness of yours. Be bold. Be strong, communicate with people because it’ll help you out a lot. Being distant from yourself and people will only add to your emotional torture. Learn to speak up, it’s the key to a perfect life. Finally, Gospel told me something which I loved. Do you want to know?
Mrs k: He loves you and needs my blessings. Now tell me if you feel same way for my son.
I became tongue tied. What if mummy was somewhere listening to us? Like Kamsi had said, I felt something strong for Gospel but won’t it be just one of my usual fantasies because I was sure mummy won’t let it happen.
Mrs k: My child?
Her voice brought me back to reality and I stared at her.
Mrs k: You’ll be fine. Trust me, you’ll be fine. Heard you’ll be resuming school tomorrow.
I nodded and she frowned.
Me: I’m sorry. Yes mun.
Mrs k: That’s better. We’ll leave now and try to be a good girl.
Kamsi; Of course she is a good girl.
I smiled and Mrs Kalu stood up.
Mrs k: Kammy go and call your brother while Amanda walk me to the car.
Kamsi headed upstairs while I followed Mrs Kalu. Immediately we walked out of the door, she put something into my pocket and shook her head. I thanked her and we went outside to the car pack where Gospel was leaning on their car and taking a call. Immediately he saw us, he dismissed the caller and ended the call.
Gospel; Amanda thanks for today. I had fun with your meal and please, forgive me if I did something to upset you.
Me: No please. Don’t apologise because you did nothing wrong.
Gospel: You’ll go to school tomorrow right?
I nodded before I could get myself.
Me: Yes, I’ll go.
Gospel: I’ll come and pick you up for lunch. Hope you don’t mind?
Me: Not at all.
He gave me his phone and I dialled my number.
Gospel: Thanks. See you tomorrow okay.
Me: Thank you.
He opened the back door for his mum who had been smiling as she got in. He came back to where I was standing and looked at me for some seconds.
Gospel: About that kiss, if she lays a hand on you, don’t hesitate to give me a call.
My mood changed immediately as I remembered I was yet to be punished for kissing him. It occurred to me immediately that my phone may be seized as well.
Me: Please can you give me your card? I fear that my phone may be seized.
I saw a frown appear on his face and he looked around. He opened the car and got a card out before slipping it into the same pocket his mum had earlier slipped something into.
Gospel: Just let me know if something comes up.
Me: Thank you.
I heard footsteps approaching and I turned around. It was Kamsi and Kenneth.
Ken: Amanda you didn’t notice my presence in your house.
Me; You were busy. I didn’t want to disturb you.
He enveloped me in his arms immediately.
Ken; You know you can never be a disturbance, not when you’re going to be my sister in law soon.
They all laughed while I smiled.
Gospel: Don’t embarrass the girl Ken. You know she’s shy.
Kamsi: Don’t worry Gospel, she’ll snap out of it once I’m closer to her.
Gospel: We’ll leave now. Take care okay.
They all hugged me before getting into the car. As I watched them drive away, I prayed silently that my punishment will be little.
I rushed to the boys quarter and emptied my pocket, there was 5000 together with Gospels’ card. I quickly wrote down his number in my diary, returned the card in my pocket and hid the money behind the wall clock in my room before going to ease myself. I was in the toilet when I heard my door open and I knew the worst has visited me. I finished and left the bathroom to meet my mum with a cane while Chine was grinning behind her.
I bent my head as I couldn’t stand mummy’s gaze. I knew I was in soup.